Friday 28 March 2008

SHISH


Hoxton is the new Chelsea. Once home to Cockney pearly treasures such as Marie Lloyd and Alfie Doolittle, it has now been overrun by arty-farty brigade and a swathe of celebrity chefs. Jamie Oliver's original "15" restaurant-cum-social-experiment is on Hoxton Square, as is Damien Hirst's "White Cube". Given Jamie's involvement with ethical animal husbandry, it seems invidious for him to be sharing a postcode with the man who put the form in formaldehyde. Restaurants in London certainly value form over content. It's not so much about eating as about ambience. And mere suggestion, without a hint of effort. The latest fashion is for "fusion" restaurants which throw together a bunch of cuisines vaguely linked by a tenuous theme.

One such is "Shish" on Old Street, where the dishes are supposed to represent stages on the old Silk Route which stretched 5,000 miles from Shanghai to Istanbul via Samarkand and Tashkent. So far so romantic. Except that the ambience has not a scrap of oriental charm. As can be seen from the photograph, it is a bog-standard modern overcrowded canteen, with young staff who call you "guys" (somewhat offputting for two ladies in their fifties) and speak much too fast. Not a silk canopy or a Persian rug in sight.
Basically an upmarket kebab house.

The menu boasts such exotic delights as Spinach Borek and Kashmiri Lamb. The portions are small, and the spices are hard to detect. Not only that, but the minced lamb in my Dushanbe Dumplings was decidedly gristly. With a bottle of red wine - sadly from Australia, quite a way off the silk route, although Turkish, Bulgarian and Georgian wines could have added some authenticity - it came to just over £50 for two starters and two mains, fairly reasonable for London I suppose, but I really don't recall much about what was in the plate.

The extremely annoying thing about London restaurants is this fashion for adding the service charge on for you in advance - no less than 12.5%! I asked the smart-ass kid who brought the bill (who was not the same smart-ass kid who had taken our order, nor the one who had served the food, nor the one who had brought the wine) what "discretionary" meant. It means you don't have to pay it, she replied. Well take it off then, I said. I left a tip of £3 which was about all the service was worth, and to make a point. Shish, indeed!

Shish
313-319 Old Street
London EC1
Tel: 0207 749 0990
www.shish.com